I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
