We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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