He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
