I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
