I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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