he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
