I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize