So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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