I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
