: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
