ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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