you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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