quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
