I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
