my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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