I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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