Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
