we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.