I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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