Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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