absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
