Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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