I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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