he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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