Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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