i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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