Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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