seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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