their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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