Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize