i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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