Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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