I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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