Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
