My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize