i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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