I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
