i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize