I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
