First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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