Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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