The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
