you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
