Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize