Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
