please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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