I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
