No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
