I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
