she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
