i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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