People in love make me want to vomit
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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