His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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