so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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