If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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