Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is it penis luge time yet?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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