How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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