Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
