I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
