At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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