how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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