i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
