And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ugly people sure do ruin things
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
