Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
