All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
