I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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