Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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